Resilience – 3 characteristics to help through life’s traumas

Trials, trauma and tough roads, we all will face them in life. Some more often and some in more tragic ways than others. Relationship breakdown, death of loved ones, job loss, financial difficulty, medical illnesses and other life events can all throw us into despair. 
How do we deal with such tragedies and grief? 
Resilience researcher and fellow traveller in the world of emotional trauma, Lucy Hone, believes that developing emotional resilience is one of the best ways to both healthily grieve and live our lives concurrently. She believes that resilient people have 3 key characteristics. She says:

1. “Resilient people get that s#*t happens. They know that suffering is part of life. This doesn’t mean they actually welcome it in…. Just that when the tough times come, they seem to know that suffering is part of every human existence.”

2. “Resilient people are really good at choosing carefully where they select their attention. They have a habit of realistically appraising situations, and typically, managing to focus on the things that they can change, and somehow accept the things that they can’t. This is a vital, learnable skill for resilience. Make an intentional, deliberate, ongoing effort to tune into what’s good in your world.”

This characteristic is fundamental to a famous prayer known as “The Serenity Prayer” which prays to God: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

3. ‘Resilient people ask themselves, “Is what I’m doing helping or harming me?“‘

https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy_hone_3_secrets_of_resilient_people?utm_source=recommendation&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=explore&utm_term=newest-talks-4

When you go through life’s traumas, as we all will, find a great counselor or psychologist to get you through, and some good mentors too – some close friends who are not merely “yes” people to help shape and gently guide you on your journey. And on that journey learn to accept that suffering is part of life, focus on what you can change and accept the things you cannot change, and stop doing the things which reactivate your distress.

God-willing these strategies can help you survive, take the next steps, move on and transform in your life.

Dr Lachlan Soper